amniöt Experiencer Notebook

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Subject Attribute

ID Images/Body Types Title Subjects Attributes Edit
317
4Gauge
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334
Final Shark Attack@Annie's Social Club, SF
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511 i love mine path, it is perfect. i will do all in my power to free it to the utmost. no paths dictate worth towards my own. from now on i will realize what other people do is not ever an attack on me. Even if they feel they're attacking me it is impossible for violence not to be only an attack on yourself and who am I to assume anyone else's opinion? that my negative reactions to them come out of rejections of some part of myself. to not cave and lash-out from the control attempts made by these broken self-worth programs (which attempt to insulat Compassion Wishes
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453 huh this rando drunk jock type dude @ 1015 said the darndest things.... something about how i'm "too nice" in the face of the harsh and fucked up world and also that i open myself up to all transgressions by being "too beautiful" these are paraphrases.... don't quite know what to make of it... don't really care too much.. Transgressions?
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439
Broken Note@103 Harriet St.
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715 adventuring through a forest with some kids come across this young girl who takes us down a path to come to this closedup house, like all squashed together she had been sleeping in a little section where the house meets the ground and there was a sleeping bag there like a cocoon we somehow hit some button that caused the house to open up we saw bones of people in the cross-section of the basement we went into the front door to find a nicely kept house no one was there we split up to look around it seemed like it had been a nazi general Forest Witch House
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637 Covers of Recent Listens
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423
Figure Frenzy@Dalva, 3121 16th St @ Valencia, SF
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433
SuryaDub w/Mala of Digital Mystikz
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256 Faith Alley
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260 The last ever breakcore party. EVER.
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508 not only do all passed events make up what you currently are, but all future events as well - this is called closed time-cube cosmology. Block Universe Plane, Emanating a No Free-Will Perspective?
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71 DuaConnecta
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506 THE LE MA is the label of the resonation on all planes Up-down Resonance
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467
It's Always the Quiet Ones @wave organ, sf
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22 Adjustment
  • (((subtitle))) :Libra
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361
Mutant Mind Meld
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510 working on staying there (which cannot directly be worked on, though raising awareness can help). want to feel ok again. can't seem to discover what the fuck is going on in me. i guess i feel neglected, worthless, uncreative... the main illusions of egoic control. it's like a knife is stuck deeply and its wound radiates fire. smoke from that fire clouds all perception. resistance there. my own choice. to be alive is to resist. i can only lessen it through love... as you aptly noted as your intention: "ego - quiet" all clarity so fleeting... The Insulation Programming of the Emotional Sphere
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345
Testing Laptop Builtin Cam
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718 grateful for the dreams last night floating across the open desert jumping flipping spinning if i wish i need not come down accepted there weaving patterns with others my mother watches from the sidelines composites of friends, friends to come, families to come. she seems to mock me but i feel her adoration. floating near me. i go on and on spin around to see the direction i'm moving in and bam a tree is right there my legs catch me against it. that tree is in a yard near a small old white farmhouse. her fath LAYLA
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261
Bathroom at The Tempest, SF, CA
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500 unless one is attempting to de-power some aspect that has been talking too loudly: calling anything illusion is meaningless, as all is thus. all current illusion is the will of the all. a possibly useful filter: is something based on rejection? That is the darkness (from voyager perspective/plane of duality). Though All is Light on the Absolute plane. the dark is the delusion of the MANY in the voyager... that delusion expresses itself in many ways but is avoidable IF THOU WILT One (of The Many) can accept* (which means compassion) and e All is Arbitrary, Temporary Illusion / All is Light
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424
How Weird Street Fair 2009
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394
Interdimensional Art Show Tour 2009
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344
Before Dinner@Millennium
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540
Brutal Sound Effects Festival 58 with 5lowershop
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448 AnUNioN for Σ
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584
Katabatik Metacommunications Platform + Record Label Records @The Compound, SF
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402
Throbbing Gristle Afterparty
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332
TG Show (during)
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331 Throbbing Gristle Live
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192 {connect visually in illustrator} the ego is a "protective" layer/program, leftover from the tribal survivalist operating-system. it is a system that can assume the identity of the greater self it is a system that is created by feedback from your environment it is not the true self but a hallucinated idea of an unknowable assumption about how others perceive thee. ego underhandedly tries to control other incarnated beings to "make" them do things to bolster that ego back into safety-mode when it is alarmed by possibilities of deat 'Understanding Nebula' Labyrinth Game
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180 Remaining Faithful to Unity thereby dissolving Blame and Guilt Programming Feel: that truth is a feeling. and as such has little to do with the 'true or false' duality platform, inwhich all things are both. this realization though can become the Unity perceived, the circle completed: an orgasm if one is to surrender to its ecstasy. it means a shedding of illusory constructs, realizing true blends 100% into false. these and other constructs make us who we are currently. the infinite possibility of existence, fluctuating compliments, all beautiful Balance Winds Oozing Dichotomic Awareness
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542
Katabatik @Oasis, Oakland
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190 Effort Confusion '09
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571
Shark Attack @Annie's Social Club
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303
Night Kitchen presents Richard Devine@Li Po Lounge: 916 Grant Ave @ Washington, SF
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373
iPhone Grid Glitch
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717 i had this dream where i was this creature. there was a girl and boy there, they were a couple. i asked them if they felt nothing for me. they acted ashamed to say yes. another creature like me appears. though i know it is a strong opponent i have no fear nor do i believe there is any possibility but victory. i can jump and fall down immense distances with this body. there is no harming it. Large Dolphinskin Creature
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567
Dodocalypse@Hemlock
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570
Soft Target
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698 Ellen Allien Djing
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340 Ellen Allien@Mighty (119 Utah, SF)
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480
Triple Goddess Invades Synchronize
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573
The Final Katanexus
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479
LAST Katanexus
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477
Final Shark Attack
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499 I find that if i engage to rapidly changing music i can find myself sending myself instructions from ahead of time. Engagements
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582
Katanexus - Sinister Dance Party w/ MNEMOTH, Zanbai, Heartworm
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541
Monsters of Love 2009 @5lowershop
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275
Red alligator clips
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482 The moment one suppresses the true self* is the moment that that self attempts to manipulate the way others perceive it. This is the physical-body-oriented ill-intent that the ego expresses from the human organism... Which can spiral into mental pathology for many modern persons like myself. Though no thing can be good nor evil. The human entity bound to time must make the choice they tend to feel is most proper under the banners of wholeness, wholesomeness and connectedness (which the ego attempts to revolt against) if they are attempting th Morality and Destiny are Matters of Dimensionality
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585
Katanexus (Jan '09)
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581
Havocsound: Wide Awake
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719 ...just had a dream in which i became pretty much fully conscious towards the end of. i could not break out of it, trapped in the subconscious... in the dream i had woken up in my bed (how cinematique) and there were people in my house taking all my stuff away, cleaning and painting over all the items i had placed on my wall. after fighting with them and leaving the house to see if anyone could help me - i started yelling "it's not real, this isn't real". people just looked at me as they do in this situation...* *of Trapt
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290
Creatureface
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312 Lulabelle au de Toilette
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118
Purchased "Vision and Voice" Hardcover
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295
Exploding Fuel Injectors?
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321
Coco 2008
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236
Dental
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711 Mom '08
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572
Animosity, Drumcorps, Embers, Eustacian, Realicide @ 5lowershop
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655 ps3.naruto.character_select.sakura.kakashi
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244
Blockade
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242
Brokebmw
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408
During/Before Katanexus
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339
Dispenser
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568
Detrimental Disco Wibble Tour: Venetian Snares, Otto von Schirach
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407 Katanexus (Dec '08): Realicide, Aymeric Hainaux, Amandroid
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652 Galleria Purcha$er A$$ Re$ting $tation
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253
Mars-1 Piece on 6th St. SF
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330
Winterkälte Show (During)
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326 Winterkälte@dna
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325
This Did Not Happen
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294
Makeuptestdummy
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458 engage to the moment [past and future worry does no good] desire for result is lame [experience of the process is beauty] ask your angel to act through you [expressing its desires in the form of impulses] Mantric Programs
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574
Katanexus (Nov '08): RMS, Dimentia, Prion, Fluorescent Grey
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304 Happycamp@goldengate park
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306
Xrin Arms@5lowershop
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262
Is Not
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239
That would be a Thrust
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177 it's my birthday what the fuck do i care about that? so fucking drunk so split-knuckled fucking dumb drunk knuckles against wood let me in i'm alone on the cold concrete of my expensive apartment yet not alone yet so not fucking alone so alone crusting blood trickles knuckles now i want more where did i leave those razors fresh cut arms wiping blood against the pages it's a code you see see it opening up so drunk it's my birthday give me all of it now give me what's in the icebox give me my beautiful fungiqueen now so trip ghostbeetlebloodwater
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385 Otherworld Halloween 2008
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211
Deafguild
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580
Katanexus, Oct '08
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416
S.P.A.Z. & TripleGoddess presents: Bog Bass
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484 Yerba Buena Park, SF
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179 embodying pure emanations of nature biting the white hot blade of love illuminating exit holes in the death-cycle for every action not-taken there exists a concrescing birth-orgasm my mind rejects your dogma like viral-infection the drama is nice but what about that climax? (there's no such thing as too much lubrication*) what are the limitations really? you think i don't know how to engineer the street-hustla-turned-rapper lifestyle? this is a global joint. 1+i *there will always be friction Birthgasm
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575
Shutter
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569
5lowershop presents Hecate
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586
Katanexus (August): Hecate, Nada, Aviatrix
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383
Suspiria@Harlot
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702 Bodyheat, feat Juan Atkins
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560
Obnoxious
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454 I am within you, and of you. At any slice in time of my existence any number of hyperdimensional situations are taking place, conducted by "the Collective Unconscious", socalled which could mean that the gateway to hyperlight communication must also exist, if one were to be so inclined as to invoke thine brothers and sisters! which also means ego death subject-object blurring Dyana -> Samadhi According to Hinduism, dhyana is considered as a stage of awakening in such precious condition where you get obvious rid of maya (the false expression Numinosity
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576
Katanexus - July '08
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238
SeakOne Piece
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404
Belt goes
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257
Dependence Day
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265
Retrofuture
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252
Pink Saturday
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175 hd Projector
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396 Blow Up (feat. Zombie Nation)
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397
Zombie Nation Live @blowup@rickshawstop, sf
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246
Stuff Walking to Work
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266
from Naught
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248
Sidewalk graf
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393
Trigger (feat Lilofee)
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503 i dreamt about you you were dragging me through middle america on a jet ski the farm lands were flooded a large fish jumped out of the water as if to bite off your head but its nose only brushed the top of your hair as we sped by, at this moment time slowed way down (i feel like you were a man earlier in the dream and had to kill me for some reason but that didn't actually end up happening) later you and some other friends were entranced by a magician making you feel like you were drowning in a pool and i was trying to pull you all out of the i Thoth
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32 Universe
  • (((subtitle))) :Satvrn
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31 Aeon
  • (((subtitle))) :[fire]
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30 Sun
  • (((subtitle))) :Svn
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29 Qoph Moon
  • (((subtitle))) :PIsces
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28 The Emperor
  • (((subtitle))) :Aries
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27 Tower
  • (((subtitle))) :Mars
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26 Devil
  • (((subtitle))) :Capricorn
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25 Art
  • (((subtitle))) :Sagittarivs
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24 Death
  • (((subtitle))) :Scorpio
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23 Hanged Man
  • (((subtitle))) :[water]
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21 (Subject)Fortune
  • (((subtitle))) :Jvpiter
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20 Hermit
  • (((subtitle))) :Virgo
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19 Lust
  • (((subtitle))) :Leo
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18 Chariot
  • (((subtitle))) :Cancer
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17 Lovers
  • (((subtitle))) :Gemini
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16 Hierophant
  • (((subtitle))) :Tavrvs
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15 Star
  • (((subtitle))) :Aqvarivs
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14 Empress
  • (((subtitle))) :Venvs
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13 Priestess
  • (((subtitle))) :Lvna
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12 (Attribute)Magus
  • (((subtitle))) :Mercvry
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11 (Path)Fool
  • (((subtitle))) :[air]
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720 I dreamt I was a paratrooper-type soldier in a war. I kept thinking it was WWII, but then it seemed like it was post-modern-apocalyptic... At any rate, we were in an abandoned city, hiding the helicopter in the metal skeleton of a tall building. We did not contact anyone outside the chopper for the length of the dream. The only personal thing I had with me were photos of a friend of mine. At one point we left the hiding spot and flew somewhere to do something, I cannot remember what happened here. This morning I received a TXT from my friend ex Skeleton City War Photos
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263
Venice Beach 2008
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338
Walking
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653 Xanopticon, Endif, 666Gangstaz @DNA
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723 Would you say to thine angel How can I best serve mankind? ? Or perhaps you wish to dance in the fields and build narrartives of enchanted contextual situatia in order to perpetuate The Great Mystery? Can these coincide? I believe so. And belief is all I have. I'd like to do this by creating and showing physical representations of the astral (an infinite source and playground for the creation of sublime beauty). I dreamt I had developed and maintained hyperdimensional instruments to probe and scan the astral dimension in order to gain a broader Thine Angel
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103
Home on the Range
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243
Bridge Destroy
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237 Gnarled
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302
Autechre@mezzanine
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191
Fetal Ape
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137 Shared Experience
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214 Viz
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240 Workstation
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140
Studio Rearrangement 2008
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176 Gas Guzzlin' Phoenix
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624 Bus Stop
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625 I had a dream that I was asking a researcher about audio recordings of whales in an office styled room. The researcher told me they had a large tank in the back that could hold a whale for listening purposes. We went out to the tank to see a large sail boat pulling in from a channel connecting it to the (natural) bay nearby. The tank was empty (of whales) so a wealthy man was allowed to park his yacht there. When the boat got into the tank the skipper got out and dove in with scuba gear and a harpoon. I was told that sometimes crocodiles get through Whale Song
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202
Op.Table
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398 Last Shot as Bottle-blonde
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RIOT sssubtle Blastik
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