it's my birthday what the fuck do i care about that? so fucking drunk so split-knuckled fucking dumb drunk knuckles against wood let me in i'm alone on the cold concrete of my expensive apartment yet not alone yet so not fucking alone so alone crusting blood trickles knuckles now i want more where did i leave those razors fresh cut arms wiping blood against the pages it's a code you see see it opening up so drunk it's my birthday give me all of it now give me what's in the icebox give me my beautiful fungiqueen now so tripped drunk AND tripped just what black thing crawled into me on the floor of the shower so alone so not don't care if i don't wake up projecting out so hot hot the hot water unending on the body hours maybe there at the bottom of the shower this complex has a large hotwater tank hot hot wet skin punching through initial veils of the astral-inner-out-sight back on the fucking concrete bloodcrusted slits slapping on the concrete the book red encodings splattered red fading to orange switch to inner-sight punch out punch the fuck out of this apartment of this situation i don't care if i don't come back i don't care i want out out there the treat for my efforts here wow here see this immense tunnel no human has seen it see these insects fucking immense white ghostlike like benthic squid clattering in out around an orifice in the tunnel divine beetles of darkness my vision my treat to share slept there on the concrete came back to write this
[scan of red page forthcoming]