i want very much to connect more with you, my friends. i have been so overwhelmed and confused so easily in this life. i am neither silently judging you nor wanting to hide. i realize the danger and shallowness of both harsh criticism and overly excessive tenderness. i am trying to sort through how i really think and feel comprehensively. the slightest word or gesture can evoke a million different things on ten different planes. so many paths to tread and only one is perfect. true that the perfect one is always the one you choose. true that the heart is always in control no matter how far astray i may feel. i want to feel that apprehension of flawlessness all the time and especially with all of you. i wish to be sporadic, exciting and at the same time truly authentic, honest. i want to play and have fun deeply from the heart. i do love you, accept you and wish to commune. and what’s more, for my close ones: i truly like you! the depth of my unique self is close only to some particular uniquenesses. i am not trying to get anything from you. i do not need you (to need me) to fuel me. i am here to help if anything. i want to succeed and if i am to fulfill my purpose it is to aid in your success. i can only show you the hallway. i can not even show you which door is your door nor what name is inscribed upon it. only you can find that out and only you can walk through it. i am here to encourage and ask what is possible and what is wanted. i am here to enjoy with you before and after you’ve found your unique and holy name. my beautiful tribe of angels, i adore you.