amniöt Experiencer Notebook

Subject Children 20

• _______________________ i am tired of fighting against the terrible disdain of a planet full of imbeciles. you constantly beat me down with your hateful and negative thoughts, feelings and actions which root from the hatred and rejection of yourselves and the hearts inside that you don't accept. you do not see past the length of your eyelashes, yo... Emotion Friends Thought Journal Entry 2014
• Grimey under my grime is spit-shine the lightbulb hum harmonizes in and out with the music eye cross dress the vision will go as far as you let it, it can always go further learned a lot about self-sex agitated erection develops from astral projection doubling the 1-to-2 lengthening the holy books of chaos magick chaos bei... Journal Entry Emotion 2011
• MIRRORACLE the strongest weapon is the mirror i fight my enemies with naught else for self-centeredness is the most self-less possibility... Emotion Cosmology Journal Entry 2011
• Basilisk of Light - p.IV you may love me unconditionally but you do not want me. if you do then what's stopping you? what has always stopped you? is it that i show weakness, humanness? i cannot constantly play God and let you transgress all modes of my human selfness. i am meant to be like this: vulnerable. how you truly feel about me y... Friends Emotion Journal Entry 2011
• Apologiae Exacerbacione i apologize to my friends for being assumptive and over imaginative and for giving confusing and/or paranoid and/or selfish communicationss i am learning through "failure" at this... Friends Emotion Journal Entry 2010
• How to proceed? ((solved)) "the object of Incarnation is to obtain its reactions to its relations with other incarnated Beings and to observe theirs with each other" "incarnation" here is speaking about incarnation out of the supernal triad and down into the actual and material zones where one angel (magickal clothing of the microcosm) can obser... Friends Emotion Journal Entry 2010
• illusion + experiencer = reality the illusion of free will (in organisms) creates the reality of free will (for their creator and the creature) because they act on that sensation of free will. so since they think they are in control of their organism, they can truly act outside the expectations of their creator ('new' things are possible!). if the... Cosmology Emotion Journal Entry 2010
• Detachment Entrapment [hidden prologue] you'd love me if i didn't care where i was how i was received who cared and y is sentimentality my biggest weakness? that i care? teach me how to detach tech me how to be unconditionally... Emotion Yoga Friends Journal Entry 2010
• Astral Gateway Skull 1-performing full moon ritual out in the field (which was specifically geared towards contacting the astral body) [2010-03-30@2AM] 2-having partially achieved a wonder-trance (via transmuting a sorrow-trance) which i felt under the spell of when i first saw the skull (so the find was perhaps a direct reward for ach... Foundskull + Vertebrae Journal Entry Emotion 2010
• DESIRE DEMANDS DESIRE DEMANDS THAT I DO NOT DEMAND FOR DEMANDED DESIRE FULFILLMENT IS NOT WHOLISTIC... Emotion Journal Entry 2010
• Compassion Wishes i love mine path, it is perfect. i will do all in my power to free it to the utmost. no paths dictate worth towards my own. from now on i will realize what other people do is not ever an attack on me. Even if they feel they're attacking me it is impossible for violence not to be only an attack on yourself and who am I to a... Friends Emotion Journal Entry 2009
• The Insulation Programming of the Emotional Sphere working on staying there (which cannot directly be worked on, though raising awareness can help). want to feel ok again. can't seem to discover what the fuck is going on in me. i guess i feel neglected, worthless, uncreative... the main illusions of egoic control. it's like a knife is stuck deeply and its wound radiates... Friends Emotion Journal Entry 2009
• All is Arbitrary, Temporary Illusion / All is Light unless one is attempting to de-power some aspect that has been talking too loudly: calling anything illusion is meaningless, as all is thus. all current illusion is the will of the all. a possibly useful filter: is something based on rejection? That is the darkness (from voyager perspective/plane of duality). Though A... (Type)Wisdom Yoga Emotion Journal Entry 2009
• Engagements I find that if i engage to rapidly changing music i can find myself sending myself instructions from ahead of time.... Emotion Anatomy Connectivity Journal Entry 2009
• Mantric Programs engage to the moment [past and future worry does no good] desire for result is lame [experience of the process is beauty] ask your angel to act through you [expressing its desires in the form of impulses]... Emotion Journal Entry 2008
• ghostbeetlebloodwater it's my birthday what the fuck do i care about that? so fucking drunk so split-knuckled fucking dumb drunk knuckles against wood let me in i'm alone on the cold concrete of my expensive apartment yet not alone yet so not fucking alone so alone crusting blood trickles knuckles now i want more where did i lea... Hallucination Emotion Friends (Type)Wisdom Journal Entry 2008
• Numinosity I am within you, and of you. At any slice in time of my existence any number of hyperdimensional situations are taking place, conducted by "the Collective Unconscious", socalled which could mean that the gateway to hyperlight communication must also exist, if one were to be so inclined as to invoke thine brothers and sist... (Type)Wisdom Harmony Yoga Emotion Cosmology Journal Entry 2008
• Simplistic Ascension Model Yes, mind puzzles, that's what excites me- magic, hacking, visualizing, creating. And, also: The drive to dissolve mental boundaries. I noticed that few appreciate the meaning of aesthetics. why do I try so hard? it has become culturally-sanctioned to behave atrociously, I don't wish t... Cosmology Emotion Journal Entry Diagram 2007
• Discord Somehow, I feel free right now. classy clothing a good job, for sure- kiss him out on the street in the cold fog of evening. don't look at my eyes, yours are the same- scorpion destruction, i know your kind well i won't start and nor will you. all i want to know is- how aware are you? do you kn... Friends Emotion Journal Entry 2007
• Deepest Shade of Mushroom Blue i have loved an xenomorph and given birth to myself as a new kind of organism guided by light stripped of all convention i am and can code interfaced with foreign information systems in a state of magical resonance infused with song and imagination show me take me hold me tell me i would also like to show you. ... Hallucination Emotion Friends Anatomy Journal Entry 2007