amniöt Experiencer Notebook

<pre>engage to the moment
[past and future worry does no good]

desire for result is lame
[experience of the process is beauty]

ask your angel to act through you
[expressing its desires in the form of impulses]</pre>

<pre><a href="http://www.katabatik.org/news.htm" rel="external">Katanexus - Satyrday November 22nd, 2008 in the year of their Lord.</a>

live rites: RMS - Dimentia - Prion - Fluorescent Grey

+ katabatik dj's selecting the finest racketcore, huff-house, funereal bass,
minimal death acid, slimewave and trans-yuggothian throat singing

starts at 9PM

at ORBIS NEX in East Oakland

5- 15$ entry - a benefit for those affected by 'the green scare'

<a href="http://www.vialmagazine.com/breadcrumbs.html" rel="external">location info</a></pre>

<p>(<a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30134563&amp;op=1&amp;view=album&a... rel="external">photo on facebook</a>)</p>

<pre>Audio Pilots:

Parus
Zul
LeoHawk
Treetop
A Living Earth
Rawqua

Sound provided by <a href="http://ultravioletcarnival.com" rel="external">Ultravioletcarnival</a></pre>

<pre>5lowershop soundsystem brings you:

the last ever performance from michigan's legendary

<strong>XRIN ARMS</strong>

that's right, anthony is retiring the xrin arms project, and we're proud
to host the final performance from this extremely prolific digital
grindcore artist...

plus(!!!)

*speak onion (drum and noise from queens, new york)

*dj Duece (blood on the dancefloor. bring tampons, yo!)

*necrotic socks (the bay area's scariest... special digi grind set!)

*gangbanglia (miles of magnetic tape in your skull)

nov 15th... 10pm sharp 'til we're done...
at the 5hop warehouse, yo...
5$ cover...

http://www.myspace.com/xrinarmsmotherfucker
http://www.myspace.com/speakonion
http://www.myspace.com/5lowershop</pre>

<p>makeup, Hair, Lighting, Photos, Concept: <a href="http://luxart.anoml.net">Lux</a></p>

<p>Photo by Verabug -- http://www.flickr.com/photos/verabug/3011663559</p>

<pre>
it's my birthday
what the fuck do i care about that?
so fucking drunk
so split-knuckled
fucking dumb drunk
knuckles against wood
let me in
i'm alone on the cold concrete
of my expensive apartment
yet not alone
yet so not fucking alone
so alone
crusting blood trickles
knuckles
now i want more
where did i leave those razors
fresh cut arms
wiping blood against the pages
it's a code you see
see it opening up
so drunk
it's my birthday
give me all of it now
give me what's in the icebox
give me my beautiful fungiqueen
now so tripped
drunk AND tripped
just what black thing
crawled into me
on the floor of the shower
so alone
so not
don't care if i don't wake up
projecting out
so hot hot
the hot water unending on the body
hours maybe
there at the bottom of the shower
this complex has a large hotwater tank
hot hot wet skin
punching through
initial veils
of the astral-inner-out-sight
back on the fucking concrete
bloodcrusted slits
slapping on the concrete
the book
red encodings
splattered
red
fading to orange
switch to inner-sight
punch out
punch the fuck out
of this apartment
of this situation
i don't care if i don't come back
i don't care
i want out
out
there
the treat for my efforts
here
wow
here
see this immense tunnel
no human has seen it
see these insects
fucking immense
white ghostlike
like benthic squid
clattering in
out
around
an orifice in the tunnel
divine beetles of darkness
my vision
my treat to share
slept there
on the concrete
came back
to write this
</pre>

<div class="note">[scan of red page forthcoming]</div>

<pre><a href="http://www.otherworld.ws/halloween2008" rel="external">OTHERWORLD HALLOWEEN 2008</a>
-&gt; Friday October 31st &lt;-

3 rooms of sound featuring:
Techno / Minimal / Electro / Dubstep / DnB / Hip Hop / Downtempo / &amp; more&#8230;

Sound by Know:Audio and Gateway
Lights by Coil
Visuals by Viberation and Laskfar Vortok

Featuring:

FOREST GREEN (Cute Fang Productions / forestgreen.org)
PRAXIS (Omniscient Records)
ALIXR (rEvolution / Friends &amp; Family)
ALEX WINDSOR (Friends &amp; Family)
ED COLMAR (Siege Records / Trust / Immersive Arts)
AZEEM (Oaklyn Records / OM Records)
CHELA SIMONE (myspace.com/chelasimone)
MARC STRETCH (Foreign Legion / Oaklyn Records)
DAVE SYNTH (SPAZ)
MARC(O) (Otherworld)
RTYPE (Teen Suicide / 5lowershop / Otherworld)
THE STAPLER (sofat! / Teen Suicide)
MIZ ROWDY (Otherworld)
EL JUAN HUBBARD (High Jinx)
MARIPOSA (Otherworld)
MARIN (Otherworld)
NEIL HARRIS (Bulletproof)
DJ RY (Tour de Dance)
MUTEX (Otherworld)
CHIEF ENABLERS (Diamond K Recordings)
WHITETRASH (Otherworld / In Your Face)
NOTORIOUS PIG (Otherworld)

10pm-6am - $10 at the door - Located in Oakland

IMPORTANT INFO!
*We're running several large shuttle buses for this event from a nearby
parking location. We need even those who know where the venue is, to still
take the shuttles. Thanks&#8230;
(it's only a 3 minute ride and shuttles leave every 5 minutes)

<a href="http://www.otherworld.ws/halloween2008" rel="external">More info and directions</a></pre>

<pre><a href="http://www.katabatik.org/news.htm" rel="external">Katabatik at Orbis Nex</a>
"an unintelligable inhuman odyssey"

Live emanations: th.o.th - Filthmilk - Nightmare Generator - AAD

+ katabatik djs selecting the finest weirdcore, death trance and funeral
lounge for your listening pleasure.

starts at 9pm
5 - 10$ goes to support those affected by "the green scare"
for Oakland location - <a href="http://www.vialmagazine.com/breadcrumbs.html" rel="external">Directions</a>
</pre>

<pre>
Friday October 17th

S.P.A.Z. Soundsystem and TripleGoddess

B O G B A S S ! ! ! !

Come jump into our swamp of sub-aquatic frequencies and primordial rhythms where rare and unique organisms emerge and combine to form a new freak-o-system....

Rocking the Bog---

Jamspakula
Shellfiche
Crackhouse
Goldilox
Spukkin Faceship
Miz Rowdy

In the Om Shan Tea zone--

Elf Machine
D-Syn
Tomkat

come early for some downhome flavor with Sour Mash Jug Band and Moonshine Apocalypse

bringing it all back to the original SwampStyle...

$10 Sounds start at 10pm, going thru to sunrise....

Bouncy Castle!

@ Black New World, 836 Pine St.,West Oakland Village Bottoms

Supporting the Village Bottoms Cultural District, a grassroots
effort to protect this corner of West Oakland from corporate
influence and the ill-conceived designs of Oakland City planners.

<a href="http://triplegoddess.orgnsm.org">triplegoddess.orgnsm.org</a>
<a href="http://spaz.org/node/1160">www.spaz.org</a>
</pre>

<p>embodying pure emanations of nature</p>
<p>biting the white hot blade of love</p>
<p>illuminating exit holes in the death-cycle</p>
<p>for every action not-taken there exists a concrescing birth-orgasm</p>
<p>my mind rejects your dogma like viral-infection</p>
<p>the drama is nice but what about that climax?</p>
<p>(there's no such thing as too much lubrication*)</p>
<p>what are the limitations really?</p>
<p>you think i don't know how to engineer the street-hustla-turned-rapper lifestyle?</p>
<p>this is a global joint.</p>
<p>1+i</p>
<p class="note">*there will always be friction</p>

<pre>Elbo Room Presents:

Club Shutter
with DJ Nako,
DJ Omar and
DJ Justin

$5</pre>
<p>
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/clubshutter" rel="external">Get your goth on...</a>
</p>

<pre>saturday, august 23rd...

5lowershop soundsystem invites you to an evening of intense sonic manipulation...
we're proud to throw down with some of the west coasts' finest electronic musicians,
representing oregon, washington, north cali and socal... bringing the hardest beats
to the bay area for this night of sonic debauchery...

from hecate's blackened industrial metal, to seppuku's speedcore
turntablism, to the dancefloor anthems of foxdye and the
hiphop/breakcore stylings of doctor dirkwert III, our guests
bring the cutting edge to the dancefloor...

supported by the bay area's hardest weirdos tearing up shit on the decks and with
live P.A.'s, this is an event not to be missed...

it's a celebration of summertime in san francisco...
expect old friends, new faces, and more bassbin mangling sounds
than you can shake a stick at...

with outta towners:

&gt;_hecate (zhark, hymen, berlin/olympia)
&gt;_seppuku (dead culture, santa barbera)
&gt;_foxdye (reactionary, fkdup records, olympia)
&gt;_fukemup (fkdup records, portland)
&gt;_doc dirkwert III (5lowershop, colorado)
&gt;_mc firedrill (superbutton, olympia)

'longside bay area heavyweights:

&gt;_vankmen (teen suicide, fathme)
&gt;_EDN (dead culture, naboamusic)
&gt;_nakedslice (tbi25, otherworld)

&gt;_pu22L3 vs. build 128 (slowleak records, daly city records)
&gt;_zambai (spAZ)

plus your favorite 5lowershop resident dJs and live acts rounding out the evening...

8 dollar donation at the door to cover expenses for our outta
town guests...

call 415.762.3616 the day of the event for directions and info...

visit http://www.myspace.com/5lowershop</pre>
<p>
<a href="http://www.spaz.org/node/1119" rel="external">More info...</a>
</p>

<pre>:Katanexus:

Katabatik Soundsystem at Orbis Nex

live emanations:

Hecate (Blackened Miasmatronics - Zhark Int'l, Berlin)

NADA (Quadraphonic Dadaist Ambient , Olympia WA)

Aviatrix (Hallucinatory Beats via 5lowershop)

Kanopic Descent (NW Coast Traditional Death Trance)

+ Pareidolia Puppet Theatre (Experimarionettes)

Katabatik djs selecting the finest in death trance, weirdcore, abandoned house, zombient and queasy listening...

at Orbis Nex.
in Oakland.
<a href="http://www.vialmagazine.com/breadcrumbs.html" rel="external">directions</a>

9pm-2am

3$ before 10pm , 5$after

a benefit for "green scare" prisoners</pre>
<p>
<a href="http://www.katabatik.org/news.htm" rel="external">More info...</a>
</p>

<p><a href="http://www.myspace.com/suspiriasf" rel="external">More info...</a></p>

<p>
<a href="http://www.discogs.com/artist/Juan+Atkins" rel="external">godfather of techno</a>
</p>

<p>
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/316bartlett" rel="external">More info...</a>
</p>

<p>
falsehood exists. truth does not. many things can be false.
falseness does not imply there is anything that can be
called truth. this is the essence of 333. "Thought is itself
Untrue"
</p>
<p>
sometimes out of frustration, i curse the model builder
within me. i try to do it without closure, but it acts like
a closurist, is there any way around this tendency? many
times i feel sick of it. there's
little sitting down to it can help with.
the provisional nature of the model is soon exposed.
all models rely on perspective and
perspective is never static. all i want is to feel freely
(without falsehood). (tell me how much this
is to ask!)
</p>
<p>
...and i am feeling very lost. even the most basic concepts seem
vague and unable to be accessed and interfaced with any clarity.
why is it that in all my grandiose expressions of
ridiculously hastily concluded framework, few if anyone has
stepped up to give me advice or simply tell me i'm wrong?
i need help like anyone else. and i am so wrong about so
many things. has it become distasteful to verbalize your
feelings about the world?
</p>
<p>
... and i feel ugly and sickly and wholly unwanted. i'm not
even going to go into this here. but my ego needs a severe
revisitation. i've killed the idea of it but the reactions
by it linger so deeply.
</p>
<p>
being broke is not helping. i do not mean like "i have a low
bank account". i mean, i literally cannot afford to eat. i
spent the entire weekend in a meditative trance. it feels
like i got little out of it soever. i feel like i'm holding
back a lot of pain, i don't know what to do with it.
</p>
<p>
this is my last post before i re-construct this web system
again. i have finally given it a strict scope so as to file
it away and move away from the pointless rigors of
programming (what i do for a living).
</p>