amniöt Experiencer Notebook

<pre>no one seems to care about other people's darkness.. so i'm just sealing it off until i trust that someone truly is
healing seems pretty much a personal thing, trying to help is like a termite trying to assist a NASA mission...

the rejection i feel is not really anyone else's concern
i guess i only tried to include other's in it because i was too weak to be ok with taking time to disconnect
i don't really think it would help anyone heal
whenever i include people in the details of it it leads to disaster
plus i will not allow the chance of negatively altering relationships beyond my own by saying too much about my observations

i've decided instead to just love and not want any expectation/trust bonds
i have yet to feel like i can trust someone
but i will accept less-involved relationships
because there is much value there
though it may not be all that plausible for someone like me
to want to continue into much deeper waters without including the darkness in the pre-conditional work
i guess i was hooked (i guess egoically) on the desire to forge a main partnership with someone
i feel like i should stop corresponding with you over topics about my inner process</pre>

<p class="quote">Join us for a very special fifth edition of Warm Leatherette, the synthiest DIY night club in San Francisco! This time we will be celebrating the music of one of our favorite bands, Cabaret Voltaire, along with the usual heavy dose of minimal synth, cold wave, disco and other dark or psychedelic electronic musics. Dress to impress. This event is furiously free. A cash bar is available as always.</p>
<pre>Guest DJ: Djynnx of Katabatik

10pm - 4am
free!
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=154871430237&ref=mf
http://www.myspace.com/warmleatherettesf
</pre>

<p><strong>perfect</strong> line work done here.. i'm extra happy with the results!</p>
<p>check out some of <a href="http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&am... artist's other pleased clientelle</a></p>
<p>tattoo by Amber Amnesia in Oakland, CA</p>
<p>unicursal hexagram design by Aleister Crowley</p>
<p><strong>WILL IS ONE ON ALL PLANES</strong></p>

<div>hexagram tattoo, ink injected by <a href="http://www.myspace.com/amberamnesia/photos/albums/tattoo-art/598542">amber amnesia</a></div>

<p>
Friday October 9
@ the Bordello -1247 E 12th St, Oakland, CA
</p>

<h4>S.P.A.Z. Soundsystem:</h4>
<pre>
d-syn
oshan anand
miss gawker
th mole
rtype
sakana
mc subzero permafrost
tang li weebs
miz rowdy
white rabbit
</pre>

<h4>Katabatik Soundsystem:</h4>
<pre>
Pink.Noise.
i.i
R.M.S.
Fluorescent Grey
Nada
Pansophia
Grizelda Blanco
Nezzy Idy
Alakazam
Nada
</pre>

<p>Freak Fantastique Cabaret featuring</p>
<p>Sanza Asylum,Krista,Donna Wood,Zombie Dan and more...</p>
<p>3 rooms, all night, BYOB, starts at 9, 10$ entry.</p>

<pre>
Miz Rowdy 10-11
Oshan Anand 11-12
th' mole and subzero permafrost 12-1
Tang li Weebs 1-1:45
White Rabbit 1:45-2:30
MissGawker 2:30-3:15
D-Syn 3:15-4:15
R-type 4:15-5
Sakana (No.E Sunflowrfish) 5-wheneva

also if you get there earlier than ten I might be playing
and also the address is 1247 East 12th Street/ 13th Avenue
in oakland
</pre>

<p>last night: car was stolen, miranda was there trying to help</p>
<p>two nights ago: teleporting snakes in the back of a van, yuri driving</p>

<p>
saturday 8.29.09 9pm - late<br/>
R.M.S. - Prion - DSYN - Pansophia - MNEMOTH - 666gangstaz - Filthmilk - Heartworm - Thee Abominable N.O.-men + others
@ 5lowershop, SF<br/>
7-77 $ entry - a benefit for kata bus crash this june<br/>
no cops<br/>
www.katabatik.org
</p>
<p>
http://www.katabatik.org/images/82909web.jpg
</p>

<pre>mind and body are both mind

the shaman must live at the edge of the village

off the beaten path of <strong>culture</strong>

healing the sick

through lifeforce connect

informational downloads

through psychotropic ingestion

locks and keys appear</pre>

<pre>
Saturday, August 22 - West Oakland, Ca

Teen Suicide Records chops, screws and scrambles up the freshest beats for you. The mash will include a smattering of hard techno, a side of breakcore, all spiced up with dub and acid. Yummy!

Jamie Ball (Third Movement, Turning Point - Scotland): Scottish maniac Jamie Ball has been putting out techno on his label Turning Point since 1999. He has made guest appearances on Si Begg's Novamute label and his latest record was released on Rotterdam's legendary Third Movement label. Expect the hardest, most booty, acidic techno possible.

Sickboy (Breakcore Gives Me Wood, Tigerbeat6 - Belgium) Sickboy has made a big splash on the breakcore scene since his first record in 2002. He and fellow Belgian Droon have thrown some of the biggest breakcore parties in Europe with their Breakcore Gives Me Wood parties and are credited with popularizing the genre in the EU. Besides his promoting activites, Sickboy makes some of the sickest cut up breakcore, dubstep and jungle around. He has releases on Peace Off, Tigerbeat 6, death$ucker and Ad Nosieum.

Droon (Breakcore Gives Me Wood-Belgium): Known for his infamous Cripplefight remix, Droon has been making breakcore, speedbass, cutup madness with his buddy Sickboy for the last decade. His live show is off the hook and known for blowing minds.

Belladonnakillz (Drosstik - Canada) If the notion of some ADD-prone kids squirting LCD into their ears whilst scoffing a bowl of sugar on a gabba merry-go-round gets you intrigued, then may we cordially introduce you to Belladonnakillz. Having already graced vinyl with the likes of Duran Duran Duran, Knifehandchop and Rotator, the one-man digital imp Belladonnakillz will be gracing the bay area with his mashed up synth pop gabber nuttiness.

Plus we have a bunch of locals faves:

Eustachian (Fathme - Ca) - live - Mathematical speedcore/grindcore chaos
Exillon (Zod, Ad Noiseum - Oakland) - live - Beautiful acidic soundscapes into half step bass madness
666Gangstaz vs rtype (Teen Suicide Records - San Francisco, Oakland) - live - demented hardcore techno glitched together with electro, dub and whatever else gets the crowd moving.
Jack Clang (Havoc Sound - San Lorenzo) The sound that makes crowd move their feet.
Sour (Havoc Sound - Hayward) - live -tough as nails hoover naughtiness

BASS PROVIDED BY HAVOC SOUNDSYSTEM

$12. All night starting at 10 PM! Check www.teeensuiciderecords.com or call (415) 762-3616 on the date of the party for information and directions. Location will be known to a few and discovered by many but it is legendary. DO NOT MISS!
</pre>

<pre>
Saturday, july 25 10pm or, a little half more than half way through the day out of time....

PSykovsky Live- from RUSSIA !!! Tantrumm records new york.speacial 3.5 hour set.

Quasar -www.quasartrance.com sf to see quasar in action

Dj OLOWANPI-www.dropoutproductions.com sf to see olowanpi in action

Freakazoid- aka Freaks Of nature www.echovortex.com pdx to see Freakazoid in action

Parus- Live www.Auraquake records.com sf to see Parus in action

Secret Society- www.Quantumfrog.com pdx to see the secrets of the society

Micheal mcateer's LSD Problem child and wonder drug will be available for $20 for your purchasing power.

A chai shop will be provided Deco by PsyLotus and Olowanpi Visuals by EgNogRa and Space Turtle EAW sound by P!arus

Address: 1472 oddstad drive redwood city...

Update 7/22/09:

Other featured psy-artists:

Parus
Quasar
DJ Olowampi
more TBA
</pre>

<pre>
Come all freaks in the midst of a beautiful vision. We invite you to a night of and day of music with PSYKOVSKY and friends,

@The wharehouse ! JUly 25 th sf, california

PSYKOVSKY LIVE> 4 hour set- tantrum records
FRACTAL COWBOYS-- alpha centuria
PARUS - LIVE- auraquake records
SECRET SOCIETY -DJ set - quantum froq
Freakazoid- Dj Set - echo-vortex

Then Happy camp In the park on sunday with special guests !!!

Viewing of "LSD : Problem Child or Wonder Drug", a documentary by Michael McAteer. we will be selling copies of the dvd at the event.
-Psychedelic / global market place

9 pm-8 am full bar / with Id

address posted week of party.

PRESALE Ticket are 30 $ via pay pal. to this account " travainholland@yahoo.com "

Thanks for your support and we will most definitely see you on the trancefloor!!!

http://nw-psy.com/portal/index.php?topic=737.0
http://quasartrance.com/psykovsky/
http://www.last.fm/event/1155875
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=114034174296
</pre>

<p>
moving through an aqua channel [not really a river - maybe 30ft across].
come upon an edge ending at an immense waterfall [maybe 10-15 second freefall to the bottom].
group of us are there with some sort of instructor. lizzy is there, speaking about the jump-to-come and the backpak with our already-thrashed food.
</p>
<p>
my heart is throbbing with anticipation [fear of extremely-far freefalls into water is a very common element in my dreams].
most of the group goes over, waiting and watching becomes a difficult endeavor.
i am the last in our group besides the instructor to go, another group gathers behind me.
i have a strong drive to continue and meditate through the fear.
i partially wake-up here as the jump seems to be too intense to stay conscious of the astral sphere.
my heart is about to explode from my chest.
but i have the sensation of making it: headfirst on the way down like a diving hawk and then a quick switch to feet-down as gravity plunges me into the deep pool at the bottom.
</p>
<p>
upon arriving there it seems like it's a portal and i find myself inside an indoor pool with the group all there lined-up and cheering as i walk down their line of chairs to take a seat at the end of the room. joy and a sense of accomplishment flooded my being.
</p>
<p>
the instructor commands us to then battle!
we are loosely broken off into previously-structured groups.
myself and another male seem to be fairly upset about being made to fight eachother, so we decide to make a quick and painless job of defeating everyone else!
we begin with a brawl in the pool with a group near us.
after that we see a group that has taken to resting in sarcophagi propped along the side of the pool.
we throw all the coffins into the pool and attack the people as they try to come out!
</p>
<p>
after this i am heading towards a door in the back of the room, overwhelmed by an attacking i group, i finally make my way out.
the door seems to be another portal as i find myself back in the domain of the aqua channel.
this time i see the beginning of the channel which is covered in playground-type climbing equipment.
i find a magical bird who i somehow get to lend me the power of flight.
i buzz around this territory like a hummingbird, alongside the other bird, zipping through the wood and metal structures over the water.
</p>
<p>
after a while of this joyful activity, i come across a group that was fearful enough to leave the indoor pool and hang out near the water outdoors.
they take-on a cruel poise and seem to gang-up on me.
they injure the bird but i am able to keep it in my hands.
i fight with them as we arrive near the waterfall again.
my skill seems to be enough to keep them at bay.
as i jump over the edge, i extend my arms holding out the wounded bird in an attempt to coax it into flying away into the air.
it attempts to flutter and twitch but cannot take flight, grief overwhelms me in midair as i realize the bird will die at the bottom of the waterfall.
i then turn and scream at the group of cowards challenging them to a final battle at a later time and location.
</p>