Balance<div class="subtitle">(Æon of) Ma'at <span class="subtitle">Hé Final</span></div>
<div class="subtitle">Truth<span class="subtitle">, Judgement</span></div>
<div class="subtitle">Apocalyps<span class="subtitle">, The Throne of Spirit<span class="subtitle">, Daughter</span></span></div>
<p>
Presented By Spaz and Katabatik - Two rooms of brain melting sonic mutations from bay area underground soundsystems.
</p>
<p>
The Bordello: 1274 East 12th St, Oakland - Starts at 9pm<br/>
$10 - Supports the Mutant Fest<br/>
Flyer here: http://www.katabatik.org
</p>
<p>
at the historic Bordello in Oakland.
</p>
<p class="note">
( the Bordello used to be Mr. Floppy's Flophouse where Psychic TV used to play: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Floppy's_Flophouse )
</p>
<p>working on staying there (which cannot directly be worked on, though raising
awareness can help).</p>
<p>want to feel ok again. can't seem to discover what the fuck is going on in me. i
guess i feel neglected, worthless, uncreative... the main illusions of egoic
control. it's like a knife is stuck deeply and its wound radiates fire. smoke
from that fire clouds all perception.</p>
<p>resistance there. my own choice. to be alive is to resist. i can only lessen it
through love... as you aptly noted as your intention: "ego - quiet"</p>
<p>all clarity so fleeting... trying to understand for so long. seems so easy for
so many others. and it really is simple, the simplest things are the hardest to
swallow.</p>
<p>first shot from built-in camera in fresh new laptop</p>
<p>b&w filter in PhotoBooth</p>
<pre>
grateful for
the dreams
last night
floating across
the open desert
jumping
flipping
spinning
if i wish
i need not
come down
accepted there
weaving patterns
with others
my mother watches
from the sidelines
composites of friends,
friends to come,
families to come.
she seems to mock me
but i feel her adoration.
floating near me.
i go on and on
spin around to
see the direction i'm moving in
and bam
a tree is right there
my legs catch me against it.
that tree is in a yard
near a small old
white farmhouse.
her father encourages me
inside that house,
asks what my move is.
"butt float maneuver"
i explain
my inner balance
keeps my ass
just off the ground
as long as i desire.
he says
to keep that naming
she seems indifferent
but i feel it a mask
her mother drives us
down a dirt road
she hands me a cigarette
from the front seat
she has a shell
behind it explodes beauty
and i feel she feels
our possibility
</pre>
<div class="quote">An angel appointed to guard the spirits at their birth.</div>
<p>unless one is attempting to de-power some aspect that has been talking too loudly: calling anything illusion is meaningless, as all is thus. all current illusion is the will of the all.</p>
<p>a possibly useful filter: is something based on rejection? That is the darkness (from voyager perspective/plane of duality).</p>
<p>Though All is Light on the Absolute plane.</p>
<p>the dark is the delusion of the MANY in the voyager... that delusion expresses itself in many ways but is avoidable IF THOU WILT</p>
<p>One (of The Many) can accept* (which means compassion) and evolve as said voyager wilt.</p>
<p class="note">*full acceptance means dissolving into the void</p>
<p>That will guides Nuit and her company Hadit. These infinites compose the unification deities of the aeons of the manifestation planes.</p>
<p>
Friday, April 24th<br/>
Record.Label.Records and Katabatik present:<br/>
live multi-channel electronic musick with:
</p>
<ul>
<li>
POLAR<br/>
http://www.katabatik.org/POLAR
</li>
<li>
Nommo Ogo<br/>
http://www.nommoogo.org
</li>
<li>
Fluorescent Grey<br/>
http://www.myspace.com/fgrey
</li>
<li>
NADA<br/>
http://www.katabatik.org/nada
</li>
</ul>
<p>
A CD release part for Nommo Ogo 'Across Time and Space'<br/>
Refreshments provided by Aphotic Ales<br/>
At the RML Compound, SF<br/>
visit http://www.katabatik.org/compound<br/>
for location info.<br/>
starts at 9pm, doors open at 8:30<br/>
8$
</p>
<p>
Flyer here : http://www.katabatik.org/images/comp24th.jpg
</p>
<p>
<a href="http://katabatik.org/compound" rel="external">Compound Information</a>
</p>
<p>
Thursday, April 23rd<br/>
Katabatik Metacommunications presents<br/>
A Throbbing Gristle Afterparty... <br/>
~11pm - 2am<br/>
Djs: D-SYN, pink.noise., R.M.S.<br/>
at the space gallery<br/>
1141 Polk St<br/>
San Francisco<br/>
Free<br/>
<a href="http://www.spacegallerysf.com">http://www.spacegallerysf.com</a>
</p>
<div>THURSDAY 23rd APRIL - SAN FRANCISCO</div>
<p>TG will play one 75 minute set of various material from throughout their history.</p>
<div>THIS SHOW IS SOLD OUT!</div>
<div>Special 'TG USA 2009' merchandising will be on sale, including: all new TG CD album, TG T-shirt specific to this event, TG Tour Enamel Badge, TG Tour Embroidered Patch.</div>
<div>
Admission: $30<br/>
Doors: TBC<br/>
Promoters: Goldenvoice<br/>
www.regencycentersf.com<br/>
Support : Erika M Anderson
</div>
<a href="http://blasthaus.com" rel="external">Tickets</a>
<pre>
{connect visually in illustrator}
the ego is a <!--social--> "protective" layer/program,
leftover from the tribal survivalist operating-system.
it is a system that can assume the identity of the greater self
it is a system that is created by <!--social--> feedback from your environment
it is not the true self but a hallucinated idea of an unknowable assumption
about how others perceive thee.
ego underhandedly tries to control
other incarnated beings
to "make" them do things
to bolster that ego
back into safety-mode
when it is alarmed by
possibilities of death
or pain caused by insecurity/dis-integration/un-acceptance,
naught else.
ego tries to cling to feelings,
that is what feeds it,
by negatively cycling the feeling
until a breaking point is reached
and the voyager lashes-out
thereby sending violent disruption
into social environ and connected beings.
it is therefor irrelevant to spirit-ape
for the spirit-ape desires peace
and freedom to operate closest
to its true will, that is:
with a minimum of internal friction.
the desires of spirit (emotion)
transcend the concerns of
the physical plane of reality.
though "controlling" environment
is part of the greater self-illusion
and not necessarily egoic
(ego is a sub-program of "self"
that attempts to save that self
from social "depravity").
though all control is illusion,
hallucinated-self
has ability to "manipulate"
under compassion-mode,
but is not always the case...
awareness of acceptance choice
can de-power voyager control-reaction.
ego can never know compassion
therefor increasing awareness of its methods
is all we can do.
cannot force compassion upon it -
that only bolsters it more
as it basks in the attention.
===============EDIT BELOW=============
Actions only make attainment <strong>more possible</strong>,
they cannot attain on their own.
Honest surrender is a <strong>state</strong>
not an <strong>action</strong>.
Thou wilt attain at the time proper
for thine own nature.
Which means without
<strong>neurosis of divisions</strong>,
without resisting
The One True Way.
Awareness is tool of true will.
Pushing the self to "accept" is the most subversive kind of control!
Awareness limited by coincidence control center=spiritcore.
achievement: illusory, pride: egoic emanation.
true will is placenta connecting goddess to entity...
the fluidic connectivity
of the lashing Basilisk,
up and down
it moves its head
in response to
Her Writhing Love Dance
to drink from Her Arched Body
to take tiny tastes
of succinct succulent subtle sublimity,
all-ways to Her.
i am the serpent:
exemplifying intensity
in both directions,
wearing and concealing
emotion,
streamlining and breaking-down
antiquated machinery.
========================================
figured out what to say to someone when they say "i'm sorry"
if you'd like to be obtuse and express your own feelings: "i'm not"
truer (non-egoic) "i" doesn't necessarily need or want to be controlled by sorrow
truest "i" not controlled by sorrow in any case
self-illusion emanates sorrow
egoic veil lashes-out in fear from that sorrowful feeling
attempting to socially control others into strengthening itself
ego degrades as well as cherishes itself
to induce dualed-perpetuation of itself
for primate-derived control over social environment
current socio-cultural environment creates and enforces egoic worldview
due to lack of awareness due to fear of pain which emanates from ego control center
peek-a-boo, bestfriend, i see you!
ego not enemy
ego attempts to protect primate
voyager seeing it as such was egos control plan all along
(the voyager's un-plan includes all plans of ego)
playing with illusion of "effort" on part of the felt-self only enforces it
seeing intentionality split perpetuates more splitting
true surrender is a state not a method
awareness not action but two-way connection to spiritcore
only love can take the ego
ego trying to protect the primate
we don't need it anymore
we must not evilify it
will of the all
emanates love-bonding capability.
egoic and later self veil falls
if and when
it is your One True Will
to lose them.
Will descends as the self rises up towards loving connection.
complete connection of these means Ecstasy of Obliteration
burning away irrelevant and antiquated habits of ego control center
eye desire more cosmological awareness....
"love under will" means Love as the capability platform
and Will as the dynamic aspect of that platform - the going.
dualed system necessary to create copies of spiritcore
and view ascendence patterns of them as emergent creative light
ego not enemy but possibility of novelty
infinite singularity/infinite space=1 and 0=duality platform=hadit/nuit playground
1=0
2 (multiplicity) only exists within ego construct within voyager
2=0, 2=1
when personal will is purified by love - true will flows like fountain
the self-construct may then emanate purer light and move toward complete integration w/spiritcore=death=life, amen
consciousness a holographic copy of godhead with limiting programs called ego
it is the ultimate conundrum
cosmic giggle
it is a game
voyager never and always wins
alchemical philosophers stone
magnum opus is a catch 22
Does attention and affection between people always perpetuate ego?
not necessarily, intimate connection can be had without playing off pain-fear of voyagers in question, pleasure still available without attachments.
Difference between illusion of perceived-self and egoic programming...
ego seeks to manipulate for its illusion of self-benefit.
ego seeks to take RESPONSIBILITY for actions which are in actuality pure expressions of the totality of nature, NOT itself.
perceived self (the experiencer) does not do this, it just is, it is unified and blames naught.
</pre>
<div class="attribution">Credit to J.C. Gold for the "Labyrinth Games" idea. His listing of them in the appendix of American Book of the Dead is both humorous and frightening, my favorite example:</div>
<div class="quote">#34. window created, scary shapes appear at window game</div>
<div class="subtitle">Remaining Faithful to Unity thereby dissolving Blame and Guilt Programming</div>
<p>
Feel: that truth is a feeling. and as such has little to do with the 'true or false' duality platform, inwhich all things are both. this realization though can become the Unity perceived, the circle completed: an orgasm if one is to surrender to its ecstasy. it means a shedding of illusory constructs, realizing true blends 100% into false. these and other constructs make us who we are currently. the infinite possibility of existence, fluctuating compliments, all beautiful as all be.
</p>
<p>
Process: as the past (which can never again be experienced) drives the experiencer to cling to things like antiquated tendencies of the lower-dimensional realities, the searing radiation of truth burns inward from the future. almost too painful to bare, as freedom overwhelms the loveplay-weary voyager: i ask if this is 'the moment we've all been waiting for' - shivering, sobbing in the cold wind - replies: yeahhssss.
</p>
<p>
Surrender: so, expose my pride, dance on my resistance, soak my necessity in warm spit, dissect my competitiveness survival-program, gain insight on my control-based dis-ease. to achieve ease? achieve not - end the pain, or do not. cannot push surrender to manipulate an end, the surrendering means you accept any end. i can become aware (of its manipulative nature), i can choose (to not cave to its pressures), i can balance (the courage with the fear, the joy with the pain).
</p>
<p>
Question: is not, what things you know that are true or false but, how much truth can you <em>stand</em> (before there is nothing recognizable as you left)? can you go all the way? make that hallucinated-sacrifice? the universe watches until you do and you've already decided, haven't you?
</p>
<div>Thursday , April 16th</div>
<div>Katabatik MetaCommunications Platform presents</div>
<h4>livesessions from:</h4>
<div>
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/mnemoth" rel="external"><strong>MNEMOTH</strong></a> - hard, sick minimal electro + live vocoder abuse
</div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/fgrey" rel="external"><strong>Fluorescent Grey</strong></a> - psychedelic beats with 80's EBM flavour
</div>
+
<div>
Djs R.M.S. , .Pink.Noise, Eyebrane, Djynnx
<br/>
selecting the finest slimewave, battle ambient, abandoned house, death trance, and OTHER...
</div>
<div>
Starts at 9<br/>
3$ donation<br/>
(Free if covered in Black Slime)
</div>
<div class="quote">...entertainment beyond comprehension...</div>
