<p>
moving through an aqua channel [not really a river - maybe 30ft across].
come upon an edge ending at an immense waterfall [maybe 10-15 second freefall to the bottom].
group of us are there with some sort of instructor. lizzy is there, speaking about the jump-to-come and the backpak with our already-thrashed food.
</p>
<p>
my heart is throbbing with anticipation [fear of extremely-far freefalls into water is a very common element in my dreams].
most of the group goes over, waiting and watching becomes a difficult endeavor.
i am the last in our group besides the instructor to go, another group gathers behind me.
i have a strong drive to continue and meditate through the fear.
i partially wake-up here as the jump seems to be too intense to stay conscious of the astral sphere.
my heart is about to explode from my chest.
but i have the sensation of making it: headfirst on the way down like a diving hawk and then a quick switch to feet-down as gravity plunges me into the deep pool at the bottom.
</p>
<p>
upon arriving there it seems like it's a portal and i find myself inside an indoor pool with the group all there lined-up and cheering as i walk down their line of chairs to take a seat at the end of the room. joy and a sense of accomplishment flooded my being.
</p>
<p>
the instructor commands us to then battle!
we are loosely broken off into previously-structured groups.
myself and another male seem to be fairly upset about being made to fight eachother, so we decide to make a quick and painless job of defeating everyone else!
we begin with a brawl in the pool with a group near us.
after that we see a group that has taken to resting in sarcophagi propped along the side of the pool.
we throw all the coffins into the pool and attack the people as they try to come out!
</p>
<p>
after this i am heading towards a door in the back of the room, overwhelmed by an attacking i group, i finally make my way out.
the door seems to be another portal as i find myself back in the domain of the aqua channel.
this time i see the beginning of the channel which is covered in playground-type climbing equipment.
i find a magical bird who i somehow get to lend me the power of flight.
i buzz around this territory like a hummingbird, alongside the other bird, zipping through the wood and metal structures over the water.
</p>
<p>
after a while of this joyful activity, i come across a group that was fearful enough to leave the indoor pool and hang out near the water outdoors.
they take-on a cruel poise and seem to gang-up on me.
they injure the bird but i am able to keep it in my hands.
i fight with them as we arrive near the waterfall again.
my skill seems to be enough to keep them at bay.
as i jump over the edge, i extend my arms holding out the wounded bird in an attempt to coax it into flying away into the air.
it attempts to flutter and twitch but cannot take flight, grief overwhelms me in midair as i realize the bird will die at the bottom of the waterfall.
i then turn and scream at the group of cowards challenging them to a final battle at a later time and location.
</p>
Items
Blocks
items_blocks.tpl.php
-
Plunge
moving through an aqua channel [not really a river - maybe 30ft across].
come upon an edge ending at an immense waterfall [maybe 10-15 second freefall to the bottom].
group of us are there with some sort of instructor. lizzy is there, speaking about the jump-to-come and the backpak with our already-thrashed food.
m...
Dream
Friends
Journal Entry
2009
- (((main-images))) (Attribute)Magus 2009
- (((title))) (Attribute)Magus 2009
- Tabular Attribute Map Selections (Attribute)Magus 2009
-
Waxxx
Anatomy
Hallucination
Friends
Book Concern Building
2009
-
Dual Reply
2=1=0! :)
all aspects reconcilable...
boundaries are temporary illusions...
the division is for the chance of union and beyond moral judgement...
though i do agree it is harmful for this species to continue its blind faith in the dual, i realize it has gotten us where it has...
also, i believe that magick can be used a...
Yoga
Cosmology
Journal Entry
2009
-
AMF13 Journal
still processing this...... the more i reflect the more amazing it feels.... some highlights:
the soundsystem camps were so so pleasing to see out in that setting after years of bay area undergrounds... all my acquaintances from that scene were there... the drugs were amazing and i had some of the prettiest and most intens...
Autonomous Mutant Festival XIII
Friends
Hallucination
Journal Entry
2009
-
starting hir day, rebirth, change fractal cascade
watching the labyrinth walls
blueprinting metamorphosis along its way
i/o balancing....
[the ego *is* a structure:
"false" in its pretenses,
"evil" in its raw expression
and essentially "hollow" as it may be,
it contains a "personality",
which is a dualing input/output stream of pure lifeforce]
...all t...
Harmony
Cosmology
Journal Entry
2009
-
Autonomous Mutant Festival XIII
still processing this...... the more i reflect the more amazing it feels.... some highlights:
the soundsystem camps were so so pleasing to see out in that setting after years of bay area undergrounds... all my acquaintances ...
Gatherings
SUBJECT
Gatherings
Travel
2009
4
-
AMF13 Photos
1. haunted meadow
2. amber+haunted meadow
3. crushed vw...
Autonomous Mutant Festival XIII
Plantae
Photograph
Friends
2009
Nodes
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-
Plunge
Connections:Attribute Type:TYPE -
(((main-images)))
Connections:Attribute Type:TYPE -
(((title)))
Connections:Attribute Type:TYPE -
Tabular Attribute Map Selections
Connections:Attribute Type:TYPEAttribute Type:(Attribute)MagusAttribute Response:36,834,816,833,41,835 -
Waxxx
Connections:
-
Dual Reply
<pre>2=1=0! :)
all aspects reconcilable...
boundaries are temporary illusions...
the division is for the chance of union and beyond moral judgement...
though i do agree it is harmful for this species to continue its blind faith in the dual, i realize it has gotten us where it has...
also, i believe that magick can be used as a tool of nondual training since it seems to me to be simply yoga in reverse ["conquering god" on the flip side of "dissolving into god"... the two directions can be balanced in a harmony]</pre>Connections:Attribute Type:TYPE -
AMF13 Journal
<pre>still processing this...... the more i reflect the more amazing it feels.... some highlights:</pre>
<p>the soundsystem camps were so so pleasing to see out in that setting after years of bay area undergrounds... all my acquaintances from that scene were there... the drugs were amazing and i had some of the prettiest and most intense visions ever.... m3sc4line [first time], 5hr00ms, L25, 2-Ci and K were all in my system by the end of the weekend!... the presence of "the other" was at times so overwhelming at one point i literally thought the campgrounds had shifted and left this planet.... had a run-in with an attendee that ended in a tragic event after i left (there's a big long story i have to tell about this but face-to-face seems best).... the only really negative things i have to say are that the folks could've been a bit more inviting and the parties a bit more engaging (too much of the time i'd be the only person in front of a soundsystem dancing).... oh and much much better selection of music than burningman could ever supply! (dubstep, jungle, breakcore, hardcore, tekno, blackmetal, darkambient and of course "experimental" were all represented strongly).... basically, i think you all would've enjoyed it!</p><p>i saw heaven, i overcame the possibility of hell, i cried and i writhed in the dirt with ecstatic joy.....</p>
<!--p>def. intense for me too... was not expecting those things to happen... felt very very drawn to you (which is not a new thing) and was having some thoughts/visions that drove me to open to you in that way. after i saw you at katabatik when fauna was playing, i prayed that i would get to hang out with you alone that night.</p-->
<!--p>i feel like i've started to develop crush-type feelings for you again for a while now tho... kataoasis.... TG..... etc... i can't help it when i see you.</p-->
<!--p>[ i had the thought that it would get too intense going to gemini w/you and that i would want to hang out with you there and that it may have been the wrong time for it... but that was only after you asked me to go... before then i had decided not to and i was halfway into a mushroom trip when you offered a ride. ]</p-->
<!--p>the deep pain i've felt and the aggressive manner in which i pushed you away is, to me, simply a sign that i was/am still very interested in you.</p-->
<!--p>i do love you back... even when we are not romantically engaged or if there is some pain in me that wins at controlling... the love is unconditional.</p-->
<!--p>was wondering when you get back... already missing you. we had to leave shortly after i left your tent. was fucking hard to go... staying the rest of the time was all i could think that i wanted. yuri was unyielding to my attempts at staying...</p-->
<!--p>ended up bawling my eyes out right before we left, but not really over leaving, mostly i just FELT so fucking much... my time with you was bliss (both nights), and made all the effort to go worth it for me. not much privacy out there, so people were worried about me, but little of the tears were coming from sadness... bottled feelings pouring out, older knots unraveling, forgiving myself... i said that the crying means i'm doing really well.</p-->
<!--p>want you to know that my intention is to maintain a level of health necessary to be near you... i love you deeply, theorna.</p-->
<!--p>yeah, i had a lot of hard moments there, was not all cool.... much of this had to do with the crustpunk/scumfuck groups that were in attendance... i had to hear men make obscene remarks towards women, overhear that some guy had badly beaten up a woman, etc, i even had to watch a guy die (but that is a longer story).... along with this was a fairly noticeable prejudice towards how i looked, more specifically: that i was not dirty or crusty or had not enough patches on my clothes to fit in with the area we were camped at. i played one trance song out of my car and someone told me to "shut it off because this area of mutantfest doesn't like techno".... the people at the festival seemed intensely dualistically divided... between those interested in aesthetics and those against interest in aesthetics.... thankfully i found enough of the former (acquaintances from underground parties over the years) to stay positive during my time there.... the chemicals and music helped as well :)</p-->
<!--p>i'm not so sure you missed a lot because you were up there early in the week... we saw all of friday and saturday night and it was pretty dead both nights... i wonder when the really happening time to be there is? it was much more fun than burningman has ever been for me... i knew a lot of people there and the aesthetics were much more pleasing and engaging to me, even if it wasn't all that lively most of the time.</p-->Connections:Attribute Type:TYPE -
starting hir day, rebirth, change fractal cascade
<pre>watching the labyrinth walls
blueprinting metamorphosis along its way
i/o balancing....
[the ego *is* a structure:
"false" in its pretenses,
"evil" in its raw expression
and essentially "hollow" as it may be,
it contains a "personality",
which is a dualing input/output stream of pure lifeforce]...all the while viewing this apparent dual as illusory,
a cultural artifact...pure lifeforce flow!
true will
or the guardian angel
represents
the most proper
egoic veil i/o
or lifeforce dynamic
for the individual in question
obtained through surrender
of the personalityyogic fine tuning (apparent control - Yama)
magickal will projection (apparent control - Invocation)
but with zero control</pre>Connections:Attribute Type:TYPE -
Autonomous Mutant Festival XIII
Connections:Attribute Type:TYPEAttribute Type:TYPE
Location:Forest, Oregon -
AMF13 Photos
<div class="caption">1. haunted meadow</div>
<div class="caption">2. amber+haunted meadow</div>
<div class="caption">3. crushed vw</div>Connections:Attribute Type:TYPE
Table
items_table.tpl.php
| ID | Images/Body | Types | Title | Subjects | Attributes | Edit |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 502 | moving through an aqua channel [not really a river - maybe 30ft across]. come upon an edge ending at an immense waterfall [maybe 10-15 second freefall to the bottom]. group of us are there with some sort of instructor. lizzy is there, speaking about the jump-to-come and the backpak with our already-thrashed food. my heart is throbbing with anticipation [fear of extremely-far freefalls into water is a very common element in my dreams]. most of the group goes over, waiting and watching becomes a difficult endeavor. i am the last in our grou | Plunge |
|
EDIT | ||
| 835 | (((main-images))) |
|
|
EDIT | ||
| 834 | (((title))) |
|
|
EDIT | ||
| 833 | Tabular Attribute Map Selections |
|
|
EDIT | ||
| 259 |
|
|
Waxxx |
|
EDIT | |
| 455 | 2=1=0! :) all aspects reconcilable... boundaries are temporary illusions... the division is for the chance of union and beyond moral judgement... though i do agree it is harmful for this species to continue its blind faith in the dual, i realize it has gotten us where it has... also, i believe that magick can be used as a tool of nondual training since it seems to me to be simply yoga in reverse ["conquering god" on the flip side of "dissolving into god"... the two directions can be balanced in a harmony] | Dual Reply |
|
EDIT | ||
| 368 | still processing this...... the more i reflect the more amazing it feels.... some highlights: the soundsystem camps were so so pleasing to see out in that setting after years of bay area undergrounds... all my acquaintances from that scene were there... the drugs were amazing and i had some of the prettiest and most intense visions ever.... m3sc4line [first time], 5hr00ms, L25, 2-Ci and K were all in my system by the end of the weekend!... the presence of "the other" was at times so overwhelming at one point i literally thought the campgrounds had | AMF13 Journal |
|
EDIT | ||
| 445 | watching the labyrinth walls blueprinting metamorphosis along its way i/o balancing.... [the ego *is* a structure: "false" in its pretenses, "evil" in its raw expression and essentially "hollow" as it may be, it contains a "personality", which is a dualing input/output stream of pure lifeforce] ...all the while viewing this apparent dual as illusory, a cultural artifact... pure lifeforce flow! true will or the guardian angel represents the most proper egoic veil i/o or lifeforce dynamic for the individual in quest | starting hir day, rebirth, change fractal cascade |
|
EDIT | ||
| 287 |
|
Autonomous Mutant Festival XIII |
|
EDIT | ||
| 286 |
|
AMF13 Photos |
|
EDIT |
Dream 
Friends 
Anatomy 
Hallucination 
Book Concern Building 
Yoga 
Cosmology 
Autonomous Mutant Festival XIII 
Harmony 
Gatherings 
SUBJECT 
Travel 
Photograph 
Plantae Rotator
items_cinema.tpl.php
-
moving through an aqua channel [not really a river - maybe 30ft across]. come upon an edge ending at an immense waterfall [maybe 10-15 second freefall to the bottom]. group of us are there with some sort of instructor. lizzy is there, speaking about the jump-to-come and the backpak with our already-thrashed food. my heart is throbbing with anticipation [fear of extremely-far freefalls into water is a very common element in my dreams]. most of the group goes over, waiting and watching becomes a difficult endeavor. i am the last in our group besides the instructor to go, another group gathers behind me. i have a strong drive to continue and meditate through the fear. i partially wake-up here as the jump seems to be too intense to stay conscious of the astral sphere. my heart is about to explode from my chest. but i have the sensation of making it: headfirst on the way down like a diving hawk and then a quick switch to feet-down as gravity plunges me into the deep pool at the bottom. upon arriving there it seems like it's a portal and i find myself inside an indoor pool with the group all there...Journal Entry
Plunge
Dream
Friends
-
2=1=0! :) all aspects reconcilable... boundaries are temporary illusions... the division is for the chance of union and beyond moral judgement... though i do agree it is harmful for this species to continue its blind faith in the dual, i realize it has gotten us where it has... also, i believe that magick can be used as a tool of nondual training since it seems to me to be simply yoga in reverse ["conquering god" on the flip side of "dissolving into god"... the two directions can be balanced in a harmony]...Journal Entry
Dual Reply
Yoga
Cosmology
-
still processing this...... the more i reflect the more amazing it feels.... some highlights: the soundsystem camps were so so pleasing to see out in that setting after years of bay area undergrounds... all my acquaintances from that scene were there... the drugs were amazing and i had some of the prettiest and most intense visions ever.... m3sc4line [first time], 5hr00ms, L25, 2-Ci and K were all in my system by the end of the weekend!... the presence of "the other" was at times so overwhelming at one point i literally thought the campgrounds had shifted and left this planet.... had a run-in with an attendee that ended in a tragic event after i left (there's a big long story i have to tell about this but face-to-face seems best).... the only really negative things i have to say are that the folks could've been a bit more inviting and the parties a bit more engaging (too much of the time i'd be the only person in front of a soundsystem dancing).... oh and much much better selection of music than burningman could ever supply! (dubstep, jungle, breakcore, hardcore, tekno, blackmetal, darkambient and of course "e...Journal Entry
AMF13 Journal
Autonomous Mutant Festival XIII
Friends
-
watching the labyrinth walls blueprinting metamorphosis along its way i/o balancing.... [the ego *is* a structure: "false" in its pretenses, "evil" in its raw expression and essentially "hollow" as it may be, it contains a "personality", which is a dualing input/output stream of pure lifeforce] ...all the while viewing this apparent dual as illusory, a cultural artifact... pure lifeforce flow! true will or the guardian angel represents the most proper egoic veil i/o or lifeforce dynamic for the individual in question obtained through surrender of the personality yogic fine tuning (apparent control - Yama) magickal will projection (apparent control - Invocation) but with zero control...Journal Entry
starting hir day, rebirth, change fractal cascade
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]]>amniöt http://amniot.orgnsm.org/syndicateRecent life posts by Ova Nebula en Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:06:20 -1000 Plunge http://amniot.orgnsm.org/node/502moving through an aqua channel [not really a river - maybe 30ft across]. come upon an edge ending at an immense waterfall [maybe 10-15 second freefall to the bottom]. group of us are there with some sort of instructor. lizzy is there, speaking about the jump-to-come and the backpak with our already-thrashed food. my heart is throbbing with anticipation [fear of extremely-far freefalls into water is a very common element in my dreams]. most of the group goes over, waiting and watching becomes a difficult endeavor. i am the last in our group besides the instructor to go, another group gathers behind me. i have a strong drive to continue and meditate through the fear. i partially wake-up here as the jump seems to be too intense to stay conscious of the astral sphere. my heart is about to explode from my chest. but i have the sensation of making it: headfirst on the way down like a diving hawk and then a quick switch to feet-down as gravity plunges me into the deep pool at the bottom.
upon arriving there it seems like it's a portal and i find myself inside an indoor pool with the group all there lined-up and cheering as i walk down their line of chairs to take a seat at the end of the room. joy and a sense of accomplishment flooded my being.
the instructor commands us to then battle! we are loosely broken off into previously-structured groups. myself and another male seem to be fairly upset about being made to fight eachother, so we decide to make a quick and painless job of defeating everyone else! we begin with a brawl in the pool with a group near us. after that we see a group that has taken to resting in sarcophagi propped along the side of the pool. we throw all the coffins into the pool and attack the people as they try to come out!
after this i am heading towards a door in the back of the room, overwhelmed by an attacking i group, i finally make my way out. the door seems to be another portal as i find myself back in the domain of the aqua channel. this time i see the beginning of the channel which is covered in playground-type climbing equipment. i find a magical bird who i somehow get to lend me the power of flight. i buzz around this territory like a hummingbird, alongside the other bird, zipping through the wood and metal structures over the water.
after a while of this joyful activity, i come across a group that was fearful enough to leave the indoor pool and hang out near the water outdoors. they take-on a cruel poise and seem to gang-up on me. they injure the bird but i am able to keep it in my hands. i fight with them as we arrive near the waterfall again. my skill seems to be enough to keep them at bay. as i jump over the edge, i extend my arms holding out the wounded bird in an attempt to coax it into flying away into the air. it attempts to flutter and twitch but cannot take flight, grief overwhelms me in midair as i realize the bird will die at the bottom of the waterfall. i then turn and scream at the group of cowards challenging them to a final battle at a later time and location.
]]>502 Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:06:20 -1000 (((main-images))) http://amniot.orgnsm.org/node/835835 Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:35:05 -1000 (((title))) http://amniot.orgnsm.org/node/834834 Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:29:41 -1000 Tabular Attribute Map Selections http://amniot.orgnsm.org/node/833833 Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:24:02 -1000 Waxxx http://amniot.orgnsm.org/node/259]]> 259 Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:39:37 -1000 http://amniot.orgnsm.org/sites/amniot.orgnsm.org/files/styles/large-landscape-or-portrait/public/2009-07-11.jpg?itok=oJD9mcnO Dual Reply http://amniot.orgnsm.org/node/4552=1=0! :) all aspects reconcilable... boundaries are temporary illusions... the division is for the chance of union and beyond moral judgement... though i do agree it is harmful for this species to continue its blind faith in the dual, i realize it has gotten us where it has... also, i believe that magick can be used as a tool of nondual training since it seems to me to be simply yoga in reverse ["conquering god" on the flip side of "dissolving into god"... the two directions can be balanced in a harmony]
the soundsystem camps were so so pleasing to see out in that setting after years of bay area undergrounds... all my acquaintances from that scene were there... the drugs were amazing and i had some of the prettiest and most intense visions ever.... m3sc4line [first time], 5hr00ms, L25, 2-Ci and K were all in my system by the end of the weekend!... the presence of "the other" was at times so overwhelming at one point i literally thought the campgrounds had shifted and left this planet.... had a run-in with an attendee that ended in a tragic event after i left (there's a big long story i have to tell about this but face-to-face seems best).... the only really negative things i have to say are that the folks could've been a bit more inviting and the parties a bit more engaging (too much of the time i'd be the only person in front of a soundsystem dancing).... oh and much much better selection of music than burningman could ever supply! (dubstep, jungle, breakcore, hardcore, tekno, blackmetal, darkambient and of course "experimental" were all represented strongly).... basically, i think you all would've enjoyed it!
i saw heaven, i overcame the possibility of hell, i cried and i writhed in the dirt with ecstatic joy.....
]]>